1. Why don't I know if I like him? I mean I like being around him. I don't want to stop being around him but does that mean I like him enough to be in a relationship with? Do I like him because Court bought "him" to my attention? I don't know. I honestly don't know.
2. Life is complicated. I've known that for a long time but I finally am realizing it. Feelings complicate things. There are good complications and bad complications.
3. No one can protect my heart. Not even me. I want to be some one's girlfriend. Someones first good morning and last good night. I want all of that...even the fights, the misunderstandings, the tears....the relationship. But i have some things that I need to work through before he can arrive.
4. Why did he come into my life? What was his purpose? I don't know. What am I supposed to learn from him? I feel that there was a lessen there. But I don't know. I need to be myself says the girls who has never had a "real" relationship. I want the real relationship. I am learning how to wait; to be patient. It's hard!! Maybe he represented my struggle with patience. But my 19 year old self knows that there is no room for him in my life and there never will be because we will never be on the same life plan. He's not my enchanted love (from Girlfriends!!).
4. I am dealing with my inner struggles. I am working on within but I can't fully do that with finals creeping up! In the end I'll get it together!!
Want all of it and ask for it. Look beyond what is right in front of you. Life is the main course, the appetizer, and the dessert. So get the dressing on the salad no side orders.~Side Order of Life
This is from my favorite show Side Order of Life. I want it all. I don't want to settle. I want it all and I think if I work on what I need to I will get my "wants".
I can't wait until this quarter is over. It was too stressful for me. I can't believe I am still standing. I am standing maybe not as tall as I would like but I am standing. Wow. I am standing. I am a strong girl. I really didn't know. I am more emotional than most people would think. Trust and believe on a regular day most things don't bother me. But some days things just really get to me. Like the texts and the boy ( I learned that I need to let people contact me)...that really got to me, him saying that I am dramatic and easily stressed ( I AM DRAMATIC but I feel like he doesn't get to tell me about myself).....
Tomorrow is always a new beginning...I need to start living that
No comments:
Post a Comment