To my *pup

I would've never guessed that you and I would be brought together. But we were....we will be forever linked together and I'm okay with that. But I can't give you anymore than I already have. You will always have a place in my heart and in my mind. But we can't continue. You carved space in your life for me and I didn't do the same for you. You shared you feelings with me and I let you in a little bit. Although I don't believe that your feelings for me are as true as you have stated them to be, you will remain special to me. But that's all it can be....a special moment in both of our lives. In some twisted way we were brought together.
There is a lesson to be learned in all things. I've learned I can't play with people's feelings especially when I'm not sure of my own. I can't allow people to come into my life if I'm not ready and willing to deal with all of what their presence has to offer. I hope you have learned that you must respect the boundaries that are put down...they are put down for a reason. I hope you know that you deserve a girl that can reciprocate your actions and feelings to the nth degree. I know that I deserve more than what you were offering. You're not a bad guy and we've shared some happy/comical moments but you're not the guy for me. We were brought together for a period of time and I know in my heart that's all it can be....a brief moment shared between two unsuspecting people. As much as I would love having you in my life in some aspect, I don't see anything good coming out of it. Because I can't be what you want me to be and you can't be what I want you to be either. And quite honestly, I'm not sure who I'm supposed to be at the moment which makes all of this even harder. I would love for you to just hold me underneath the starring stars and tell me everything will be okay. But it's the next day and we must return to our real lives which don't include either one of us. I know that you don't understand where I'm coming from and that's completely understandable. But know that I think of you often. It's time for me to hold myself underneath the starring stars and tell myself it's going to be okay....and be completely comfortable in my own voice. Your voice has dictated many of my feelings and actions. Trust and believe, I don't regret any of it. But I must take a stand and get to know myself without your influence or anyone elses.


"So it goes I never meant to hurt you.Couldn't stay but I never meant two desert you.Whole lotta things I just had to work through.Time to heal & restore my self worth too.Confrontation of my fears and anxiety. Cried a whole lot years I suffered quietly. And though it may have taken years I can finally...tell you that you were always on my mind! .....I had to lose myself, so I can make it better"
-L.Hill