An Uncanny Truth

September 14th, 2008
An Uncanny Truth
Laughter fills my thoughts as I remember the way we were
We didn’t need words to express how we felt we just knew
We had developed this uncanny ability to read each other’s thoughts, finish each other’s sentences
We were the same person
Or so we thought
As things fell apart
Our uncanny ability began to fade
I no longer had an all access pass to your thoughts
Never had I felt so disconnected from you
We watched as our friendship crumbled to pieces
What scared me was that we didn’t do anything about it
Because we didn’t know what we would be diving into
Fear is what brought us together
And it was that same fear that disengaged us
It was weird but I learned to cope.
Learned to direct my discontent towards everyone but you
The one person I needed to talk to was you but I couldn’t bring myself to it
Neither could you
It took long pauses, fake smiles, and a text message
To bring us back together
Back to the reality that we indeed were not the same person
We were just two people who had this uncanny ability
Try as I might to be angry with you I couldn’t
Trust me I tried
I couldn’t muster that emotion
Instead I realized the only thing that I owed you was my honesty
Sincerity
The truth
No longer could I hide from it
No longer could I deny you that
With a racing heart I temporarily gave you your all access pass back
Letting you see what really happened
During our months apart
Finally allowing you to hear my discontent
A conversation that was long over due
The next day came as you made an attempt, an effort to get us back on track
But I knew that your effort was a futile one
It was too soon for us to jump back into our carefully crafted friendship
Wounds that had been haphazardly patched over were now petal open, revealing a bruised heart
We both fully realized that our all access friendship would never be the same again
Days have come and gone
Months have passed; I am now finally at peace with all of it
I can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that the anger I once had for you know has dissolved to content
We shared wonderful moments with the bad ones sprinkled in between
Not regretting any moment of it, I would do it all again
Reminding myself
That there is a reason for all things

Electricity

Two days without electricity=NO FUN!
I'm losing my mind!! I'm hoping and praying that this will not be going on for too long!
If it does continue I'll just have to endure it!
*Lord have mercy on all of us*

Reaching my goal.....

The first week of "Reach Your Goal" is almost over. The workouts are a killer but I know in the end it's worth it! I'm STILL counting down the days until I'm @ school. I'm too excited =). I know I'll be at school soon enough.

Just a few random thoughts....

• I think I have undergone a lot of growth this summer. Trust me I've had the time to think. I'm at peace with a lot of things that have bothered in the past. But I can't change anything, not that I would want to. I've let all of it go!! And that is a ridiculously wonderful feeling. No bad feelings, no ill will nothing. I'm just ready to start my Junior year!! Working at a job that you hate will make you REthink some things!!


• Life is good. I'm in a good place. Another lovely feeling!


• I saw the Tyler Perry movie yesterday. SOOO good!!! One thing I took away from that film was people will do whatever they feel is necessary to get to the top! I'm trying to get back on the top and stay there!! Ya feel me?


• LoVinG LiFE

No More TV :(

Today is the second day of Reach Your Goal!! I'm loving it!! We'll see if that's how I feel after doing today's workout!! 12 more days until hit campus....to excited about that!!
There are so many things to do in the next few days.
**I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT THE TV DOESN'T WORK ANYMORE. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO???? I DON'T KNOW!!

"Reah Your Goal"

Self.com Reach Your Goal has begun today!! The workout was tough but I feel good now that it is over. I got through it!! The job search I think has maybe come to an end. I think I'll be working at the school's dining hall. At first I wasn't too enthusiastic about it but it has since grown on me. I need a job, they need employees. It's not the most glamorous job however it will keep gas in my car and pay my bills!! :)
I'm feeling really good right now!! I'm keeping my eye on the prizes. Yes there are more than one. The GPA and the health/fitness....those are the prizes. I know that they achieving my goals will not be easy. I am ready to put in the necessary work. I think beginning Reach your Goal is the proof that I am ready. I will stick to this!!
Tomorrow is the first strength training workout session..I'm so ready!!

Fur Elise

The countdown has begun...I will be back @ school 15 days!! I'm so excited. I'm more excited about my new workout plan I signed up for on Self.com. I think it's going to be very helpful. :)
I'm still debating on whether or not to cut my hair. Who knows? Decisions, decisions.I wish i could write more but I have hours of practicing Fur Elise ahead of me!!

*Ciao*

Reflection with a little help from Lauryn Hill!!

Who knew reflecting could be so much fun?! I've had the past summer months to reflect and think about so many things. Especially the path my life is taking both academically and physically. I am 173 pounds and a mediocre student. I am a person I don't even know. But I have plans to get back to the old me!! Things are looking up!! :)

Monday will being Fit Club....again!! I needed some motivation. I have been leaning on excuses for so long. I've been complaining about my body and doing anything about it. But that is changing. NO ONE WANTS TO BE A FATTY!!

I am soo jealous of my two friends who are in ESPANA right now. I want to have that experience too. I know I will, i feel it in my bones...lol.

I will be back @ school in less than three weeks. I am too excited for what is to come.
It is going to be a wonderful, stressful, full of A's kind of quarter!!!!!!

I Gotta Find Peace of Mind

I gotta find peace of mind
I know another cord...
I gotta find peace of mind
See, this what that voice in your head says
When you try to get peace of mind...I gotta find peace of mind,
I gotta find peace of mind
He says it's impossible, but I know it's possible
He says it's impossible, but I know it's possible
He says there's no me without him, please help me forget about him
He takes all my energy, trapped in my memory
Constantly holding me, constantly holding me
I need to tell you all, all the pain he's caused, mmmm
I need to tell I'm, I'm undone because, mmmm
He says it's impossible, but I know it's possible
He says it's impossible without him, but I know it's possible
To finally be in love, and know the real meaning of
A lasting relationship, not based on ownership
I trust every part of you, cuz all that I... All that you say you do
You love me despite myself, sometimes I fight myself
I just can't believe that you, would have anything to do
With someone so insecure, someone so immature
Oh you inspire me, to be the higher me
You made my desire pure, you made my desire pure
Just tell me what to say, I can't find the words to say
Please don't be mad with me, I have no identity
All that I've known is gone, all I was building on
I don't wanna walk with you, how do I talk to you
Touch my mouth with your hands, touch my mouth with your hands
Oh I wanna understand, the meaning of your embrace
I know now I have to face, the temptations of my past
Please don't let me disgrace, where my devotion lays
Now that I know the truth, now that it's no excuse
Keeping me from your love, what was I thinking of?
Holding me from your love, what was I thinking of?
You are my peace of mind, that old me is left behind
You are my peace of mind, that old me is left behind
He says it's impossible, but I know it's possible
He says it's improbable, but I know it's tangeable
He says it's not grabbable, but I know it's haveable
Cuz anything's possible, oh anything is possible
Please come free my mind, please come meet my mind
Can you see my mind, oh
Won't you come free my mind?
Oh I know it's possible
Anything, anything, anything, anything, anything, yeeey
Anything, anything, anything, anything, yeeey
Anything, anything, anything, anything, anything, yeeey
Oh free!
Free, free, free your mind
Free, free your mind... free, free your mind
Free, free, free, free your mind
Oh, it's so possible, oh it's so possible
I'm telling you it's possible,
I'm telling you it's possible
Free, free... free, free... free, free... get free now
Free, free... free, free, free, free... free, free
You're my peace of mind, that old me is left behind
You're my peace of mind, you're my peace of mind
He's my peace of mind, he's my peace of mind
He's my peace of mind, he's my peace of mind
What a joy it is to be alive
To get another chance, yeah
Everyday's another chance
To get it right this time
Everyday's another chance
Oh what a merciful, merciful, merciful God
Oh what a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful God
[Repeat till fade]